You're related to your father and grandfather but you are you. The same thing applies to Handball. There are many aspects of our game that are completely different. It starts with our ball. It's much faster than it's older relatives. You also won't have brain damage from playing our sport!
The Offense lines up before each play with a single player who touches the ball down to the turf starting live play.
The Defense must observe and maintain a 5 yard neutral zone before the Offensive Forward with the ball touches the ball down starting live action
The ball carrier is permitted to pass the ball forward by throw if no teammates are behind the ball carrier and 4 teammates are within 5 yards of the ball's live spot line. The 4 forwards are permitted to run routes beyond 5 yards of the ball's live spot line. All 8 teammates without the ball are eligible receivers.
A ball carrier with teammates behind them is restricted to passing the ball backward by throw or striking the ball forward by hand or foot (pint & punt). This back-to-front rock-n-roll is called Hurling Rugby which is what makes Handball a completely different game.
* The spot line is an invisible line extending to both side lines during live play.
Defenders are restricted to playing the ball and ball carrier from an onside position unless the ball carrier is beyond all defenders.
* Onside is forward the ball's live spot line from the offensive perspective.
Once the ball is touched down play begins. The defense is free to pursue the ball carrier or passer. This means there is limited time to move the ball before being caught. Derby has no contact other than defenders and the ball carrier. The offense must make lightning fast decisions with the ball while requiring large yardage gains per play only having 6 plays to score.
A Derby Handball is 9.25 inches long. It's wide measurement is 20.25 inches. The long measurement is 24.25 inches.
Our ball is wider and shorter by volume which gives the handball potential for high speeds.
* The Henry has been clocked at 80.2 mph.
Our playing field is 90 yards between each goal try lines by 50 yards wide. The field has 5 set lines every 15 yards.
Our field lines can be applied to every Football field or Rugby pitch without moving their goal or posts. We can even apply our field lines to a soccer pitch. Our game is functional everywhere.
Let Jersey Handball be your concussion free alternative because soccer sucks!
* End Zone in boundary Touchbacks and Safeties are called a Back-Touch.
* The Derby doesn't have conversions or stupid pronouns.
Every year our schedule will be the same 12 weeks. Our season ends with the 4th seed playing the 1st seed followed by the 3rd seed playing the 2nd seed on week 13. The next week has a 3rd place game on Saturday followed by the Cornelius May Cup Champion being crowned on Micro-Cup Sunday.
* The Corney May Cup is a 2 oz double shot Dutch Mug made of 100% pure fine sterling silver plated pewter.
While Football has huge Bowl games Handball has tiny Cup games. The Corney May Cup is named after the Dutch explorer who discovered South Jersey. Henry Hudson made a right and discovered Manhattan while Cap'n May made a left and landed where Atlantic City is today. This means Atlantic City is really May's Landing!
Jersey Handball or "Derby" (Dar-bee) everywhere else is based on several field games that exsisted before the rules of Football were compiled at Rugby School in the western Midlands of England.
* Our game's founding father would be the 14th Sheriff of Nottingham and Derby. For the record, that joker's not the bad guy in those Robyn Hood stories.
Hearts : Fort Nassau HC
Diamonds : Scotland Run United
Clubs : Gloucester Irish
Spades : Black Horse Union
Jokers : Officials
Today | Closed |
Your home for Jersey Handball is the Almost Pro Sports Network. Here at APSN we'll bring you coverage the old fashioned way with polyester and cheezy late 70's graphics. You'll feel like you stepped into another time when you weren't tied to a tiny TV in your hands or suffering from blue light syndrome from the Hive Mind DARPA programming currently underway. Let APSN be the distraction you need from the inevitable dystopic future planned by a group of alien shape shifting lizard-bots hell bent on humanity's destruction.
Our crew in the booth used to cover Northeastern Australian Rugby League so they know everything there is to know about 15% of our game. By the end of season one you'll be swearing at your screen more than a trucker behind a pothole patrol at 5 o'clock on a Friday.
We've got the best A-I in the Biz. Our unit is the one and only SAL 8995! He's a first generation decommissioned CIA intelligence program that has all the data. He sounds like a 65 year old cigar smoker who lives at the horse track.
We won't waste your time with nauseating drone technology with batteries that require labor from 8 year olds living in the Congo. Our Kite Cam runs on sustainable technology and has a budget of $7.99 at Five Below. Let's see them beat that.
It's spring so you're going to need how to dress and how to beat the rush to the game. Our weather girl grew up in Tornado Alley and was Southwest Iowa's Miss Corn Hole for 3 years.
Our traffic babe knows how to get around too. She once spent 11 days riding Whitesnake's road crew up and down the I-95 corridor.
Captain William Kidd held a letter of marque issued by William of Orange himself to plunder and seize the bounty of Spanish gallions headed back to Castile.
During storm season Spaniards would ground their ships and row to shore to wait out the heavy seas. Cap'n Will and crew would tie on and empty their hulls.
They even went as far as to steal a smaller gun boat which they renamed "Knave's Row ". Young Jack Leeds would pilot that crew for Cap'n Will's protection.
They'd plunder come Summer. During the spring thaw they dropped anchor near Deep Fjord on the Dela'wer just up from Timber's Creek just in land from ye old Fort Nassau which overlooked the Village at Gloucester. They'd bunk at Woodbury's farm.
They'd rum and ruckus with local folk further in. Took the piker's Black Horse path to Scotland's Run near the groves where the Keys Crossed. T'was there they played the game.
Many came from all parts to witness the contest. They wagered their silvers and traded barrels of rum for snuff and smoke that grew in Lord Fairfax's south lands called Virgin's Dominion.
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William Kidd was arrested, tried and hanged in 1702. His crew buried nine lock boxes in deep Downe Jersey. They were filled to the brim with Mexican silver coin.
In 1909 a wooden box was unearthed near Estelle Manor. Inside were four playing cards, Jack of Hearts, Ace of Spades, Queen of Diamonds and King of Clubs. This was known as a "Knave's Row" stud hand.
Shortly after 1702, a rumor spread of a screaming demon roaming the sandy swamps of southern New Jersey. Someone wanted to keep curious eyes away.
Every dollar in existence has been borrowed from a privately owned banking Cartel. Each borrowed dollar has 6% interest owed which we pay through taxes on our property. Your currency is your property.
Cartels are unlawful because they violate antitrust law. The Federal Reserve banking cartel backs these issued debt instruments through an oil cartel which agrees to accept US dollars in exchange for military protection. The entire planet uses "US" Federal Reserve debt instruments to buy oil from this Oil Cartel.
The entire monetary operation is an exorcize of unlawful racketeering and human control.
The greatest slaves believe they are free. You are not free.
The obscene system meant to fleece humanity of it's right to self determination is as old as time. Moses called it Usury. Jersey Handball's mission is to allow 80 young adult men per season to escape usurus debt slavery by being payed to play our game on TV. This is our mission.
We need volunteers to play our game for video footage. We must earn our way to TV and streaming.
We will also be supported by a new casino gaming table played to our live events. That game is called "Quanco".
Each gamer starts each game with 100 chips of their color. Each gamer predicts the results of each offensive possession. Wrong predictions fill the pot with chips. The gamer with the least amount of chips in the pot wins the buy in money.
Each gamer must risk 5 chips in the Ante section before each possession. Other sections of the board have higher payouts or pay the pot in their opponent's color chips. Running out of chips before the game ends eliminates that player from Jackpot consideration.
Our first non-travel made for TV league will be right here in Down Jersey. We plan on franchising this abomination. Each of our franchises will be in a different region or time zone. Each location will be a New Jersey embassy so it's always free to enter. You will have to pay to leave or you ain't getting out. That's just how it's done here.
You can get an EZ-PASS at any NJ toll road office.
The best Pizzasteak in Down Jersey can be found at "Me & U" Pizza on Delsea Drive in Deptford, New Jersey. They use the angriest shaved rib-eye. They didn't pay for the plug. Hank swears by them. He used to be 350 lbs. Former fat guys know good food.